sha zi mei

hello .

2007-11-06T23:17:00.000-08:00

hi my dear blog , you this poor thing . okay , i'm blogging due to the complaints .

its wednesday today . hmm anyway i just realised i havent updated my blog for a month plus . hahaha . there's nothing to blog actually . my life is very bored , so i guess no one would be interested to know . everyday was like work , home , tv-ing , sleep . yup . until that day i met up with arief to get his friend's gift at cityhall . that sickening ass . buying a gift like engagement ring like that ... hahaha ! pang zi ~ okay we had fun that day cause it's been ages since we last met up .. singing sessions , drinking sessions , then watched game plan . damn nice show . and Beast kept disturbing me by copying me . hahahaha trying to mimic my laughter ? train another ten years la ! but still thanka la for making my day . ^^ after that around two plus went to find Dearie . so happy to see her running towards me giving me a big hug . you know ? that feeling is so .. nice . haha !

work has beeen alright so far . hmm . had a small tiff with andrew few days back but now okay le . cause he realised his mistake hohoho . sian ..

anyway Swensen's food not that nice afterall , fei mei , you dont anyhow waste money le ok !

hope to get this month's pay soon ~

yup thats about it , the next post should be around one month later too . hahaha just joking .

same old thing , which i wont get sick about repeating . i miss my sisters !

back.

2007-09-24T01:05:00.000-07:00

today is monday , 24 september . currently now at godma's place . so bored . later might be going back for Spring Cleaning . anyway this year's birthday is the worst one i've ever had . thanks to myself , being stubborn for not celebrating . but still a big thanks to all my friends =)
i've got nothing to blog already , damn lost now . haha !

everytime i see those photos in my hp , i always wonder , how are you all doing ? why did all of us became like that ? we used to talk for the whole day , but right now , five sentences may already be a problem . sisters , that whats we used to call ourselves without hesitating . i believe that everyone has thought of the changes now , and everyone miss the past . i pray that all of you are doing fine and healthy .

Always and forever , Anqi , Ningjie , YY , Peipei , Peiqi , Cihui , Jasmine , Ziying , Xueqi , Sohboon . (is anyone of you really happy with your life right now ?)

Baby , be happy with Sonia . you dont have to say sorry . i miss the past too , but like what you've said , its the past . Thanks for treating me so good all these while . God bless .

120907

2007-09-12T02:54:00.000-07:00

one more day to my birthday . its going to be a bored one this year i guess . not celebrating ba .. in the past i would want to celebrate regardless how poor i am . BBQs , Kbox sessions . wadever . now , even if you give me a thousand bucks , i would still dunno where to go , what to do . that feeling and mood is no longer there . but inside , i still yearn for it to be a happy one =)

kinda sick this few days , cant sleep , cant eat . i used to sleep alot and eat alot !! wtf . dearie's having the same prob too . flu and sorethroat has been haunting us . awaiting for work tml , i just want to keep myself busy , so my thoughts wont run wild . human has problems because they got nothing to do , so they keep thinking and thinking about them , making the problem bigger and bigger . if you were busy , you'd have no time to think and problems wont appear in your mind !! we always feel sad and pain , because we always ask ourselves "why..?" , " how come it turn out like this.." bla bla .. if we dont ask ourselves , maybe things will turn out better ..?

Happy Birthday to me , Baby , Xiaojohn . Yipppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ :D

The Pursuit of Dreams , Happiness , Money , Comfort . It all matters in between the process , and not the outcome .

090907

2007-09-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

currently at KP's house using com . how come everyone is feeling so down lately ? seems like this period of time things went wrong for alot of people , including myself .

yesterday's work was so stress that i nearly cried twice in the shop . haiz . thanks to that sell fork one and andrew who waited for me after work . after quarreling with that sell fork one i felt much more better and more comfortable . lol . i actually drop a raspberry cheese and broke a glass . first time i felt so lost and shocked that tears were welling up in my eyes in front of so many people ! f-ing paiseh . just nine hours and my leg was like breaking when i reached home . really really hurt like hell . didnt do such hard work before -.-

heard some things . i'm upset inside myself too , but nobody knows . i know i'm cb , selfish , or wadever you put it . but it was for his own good . nevermind . Dearie , sorry to trouble you for taking care of him .

Xi Huan Ni by Ting Zhu is a nice song .

suffering from insominia(spelling error) ... dark eye rings haunting me again .

i miss my mp3 .. badly !

2007-09-06T23:06:00.000-07:00

yesterday went to tianshun's place to find him tgt with dearie , enen & company . so happy ! long time never relax and slack le .. but this foolish and darn stupid ME , left my beloved mp3 at his place charging . came to know only when i boarded the cab !!!! so i call them and ask them to help me keep . but ahjohn says he wanna borrow , so i lend him nor .. i know i've made a big fuss out of it last night by pestering them . but i think about it very very long already , i really cannot don have it de ! i cant even sleep and my mood was fucking bad for no reason . i just need it badly la ..

going to work soon .. later at night maybe going to deardear's birthday at boatquay . darn it no $$ !!!!!! nicotine level darn low NOW !

very fed-up . I MISS MY MP3 , SERIOUS ..

no title ...

2007-09-01T12:51:00.000-07:00

hello ... erm . so boring now at marina . benben and company all playing dota , and peipei also .. actually don wan come de , but peipei say she one gal den she ask me acc her .. left me only never play . darnnnnnnn ! she beside me hahahahah .. not funny i know . nothing to blog also but i find nothing to do already . haiz whats so good abt dota ? can someone tell me .. pay money to kill and get killed -,-

okay .. waiting for wednesday to work .. shit the pauline put the schedule so fucked up ... how to earn money like that ?! anyway people at Secret Recipe is quite nice and friendly (including me , hurhurhur) .. hope to get to work long hours . can go try the cakes there , cause its real nice(thats wat people say) .... and friends can come find me , hahahaha ......not funny again .

my birthday's coming , straight after ah poh's and soh boon's . no money to celebrate , wat to do ?!?! one year one time lei .. if money can drop from sky , so good right ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!! haiz .. dont think celebrating le . just hope to have all my friends with me for just one night i will be happy le , wish that all my friends(no matter close or not) be healthy and happy . i miss alot of you ... my sisters .. arief .. fishy .. shan .. g.boi(company) .. kailin .. kaixin .. chatree .. seng .. alot la ... but i dont think any of them miss me .. those who used to be there is now there for others . =( nevermind , as long as they are fine and healthy ... ^_^ Dearie , i miss you alot too . when you miss me , take a look at my drawing of you and poh and you know i'm there ! (=

we're born in sins , and we live to bear the consequences .

nothing matters anymore .

2007-08-25T04:50:00.000-07:00

i'm back ~ Dearie , relax okay ?! haha . erm .. i dunno what to say too . this coming tues i'd be going IMM's secret recipe to work .. hope it will be a success one cause i'd never worked as a waitress before . SO , pray hard .. dearie , i will work no matter what happen unless got serious thing happen till i really cant take it =) dont worry .

i feel i'm prejudiced against everyone around me . even my own friends . its really !@#$%^& you know . but i always try to remind myself with this : if i see him/her/them as my friends , i will look upon their bad points as their good points . i wont be minding those actions ^^ (dearie this is for you to read also) i MUST learn to control . but sometimes things just go out-of-way ~ nevermind , dearie is always there supporting me . so vice versa , Dearie i'd be reminding you not to to angry over un-important stuffs . hurhurhur .

everything is nothing . this world , myself , everythings is just air . i can see that , i really do .

Lust and desire made us lose what we've got in the first place , and what we owned . So people , stop blaming the gods or fates for the bad life you've got . Look back and see , when you understand what you've did and why , you can move on from then ...

15.08.07

2007-08-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

hello my dear friends .. it my 2nd entry here . haha . so happy to see e tags from my galfriends .. now at my godma house , later will be meeting pei up to go for our training at swensens . fucking sian have to meomorise the notes , weird right ? server still have to take test , memorise and take notes . LOL . monday would be my first day of work if everything goes successfully later =) first time working as a waitress , so weird and scared . LOL . so stress la ! no choice , money makes the world go round .

Maybe i should learn to enjoy every part of my life , even if it means the bad ones . Because it doesnt repeat again . Many times in life i feel like giving up , feel like abandoning myself . Thinking that i can just die away like that . But friends around me hold me on , telling me they would be there . Maybe a few words cant do much ; but i know that their concern is enough already . We shouldnt be dependant on our friends too , they too have their own problems . Grateful enough that they're there for us . But some people think that their friends adds more problem for them , so in the first place why are they all friends ? If you regard them as friends , you shouldnt be shifting the wrongs and blames to them , unless its really their fault . Sometimes environment , people , time , mood JUST doesnt allow us to be RIGHT all the time . And i believe no human can do that .. Wats the definition of "right" and "wrong" , there shouldnt be R and W in the world . cause R and W is just our own views and opinions for that specific event . Lets say breaking rules is W , but even rules are set by man . And they say " man are all equal - but why cant we change it ?" The existance of R and W caused so much sufferings to us from the past till now and still going on in reality .
Mistakes - everyone does that . But who can really admit and face up to themselves . Most of us blame our mistakes onto others without knowing it . And thats when troubles start appearing . But , even if we have the courage to admit and face it , how many can really FORGIVE themselves ? few . Forgiving needs much more courage than anything . And even when you can forgive , who will be there to give a 2nd chance . Many agrees on the outside , but when it come to realistic and by action , how many are willingly ?
As friends , we shouldnt be pushing the blames or adding the oil to the person , but helping them to change by reminding them .. Sadly sometimes , you can just find nobody to understand . Some will even ask you to fuck off and dont kpo . Lol , or maybe say you're faking your help - jia xiang xing . Thinking back , who's so free to fake themselves helping you ? That person must be crazy or whatsoever la . We're not asking to them to appreciate , but just understanding will make things fine ..
To people who feel down or feel that nobody is there for them , or people are prejudice against them (or prejudice against their own friends) , think about it . Did you let your friends help you ? Did you share or tell them your problems . BUT , seriously sometimes when you trust the wrong person , things go worse and thats when you blame them . By that point , back to square 1 , that sucky feeling is back again . At the 2nd time , you really find no hope again . So you take up everything yourself . And after sometime you realise being by yourself isnt that bad afterall , cause you're already independant by that time .
Till now , i still dont know whats "friends" . Defination -A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts . Or should they be called people with masks , having the ability to plot against when you arent realising . Lol , sounded very bad but its true when you can see this from your heart . Main point is , we should always choose our friends carefully , to prevent yourself from giving others the chance to betray you .
God gave us the ability to love , care , share , concern , but how come majority of us are always arguing , being selfish with one another , getting worked up at each other for no reason(sikit sikit ta bulehLOL) , despising others and the weak ones , laughing at those who look ugly on the outside .

We care for each other from the heart , not from the mouth . Many things we hope people understand , or perhaps THOUGHT they know . But never thought that they will never know until we tell them .
(all of above statement is based on own's opinions)

phew ~! long long time never type for so long le ... hahaha . so much rubbish . its already 1.43pm liao .. sians have to go awhile more later . my birthday's coming le , anyone got suggestion .. ? haiz . currently ning , anqi , pei , qiqi , qi , jas , boon , hui , poh , popiah is on my mind . lols in short means i'm missing them =)

Where's the old Jelly 4 (jelly si ren zu)? and where's the old Jie Mei Tong lol ? i miss you all !

1st post .

2007-08-07T02:17:00.000-07:00

hello .. it has been ages since i stopped blogging . suddenly got a feeling wan to blog , so i went all the efforts into building up a blog AGAIN . life has been super duper , ultra , fucking bored . i've been rotting away for 2 whole months & i'm so disappointed with myself . i hate the life now i'm having . hate e people around me , hate everything . *sighs
i miss the old times , miss the old me , miss my old friends , miss the past . havent been blogging for such a long time , out of a sudden i've no idea what to write . anyway i wont be updating my this blog too often cuz my computer is still unable to use currently !
ending here , shall update more in my next post (when i'm free) . right now i'm missing ah chong , ah poh , ah pei , hui er and perhaps him .

INDEED , I'M VERY UPSET WITH YOU , though i've forgiven you .
AFTERALL , YOU'RE THE FIRST BF WHO SHOUTED AT ME ...